Our Enemy Prowls

This past week has been a rollercoaster for me. Our enemy prowls like a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour. I’m afraid I have felt the pressure. The spring holy day season is nearly upon us. We have only a month before Passover. The enemy always seems to step things up a notch before holy day seasons. So let me confide in you, my friends.

Struggles: I am not strong enough to give you details, but I will tell you that I have a new struggle that I’ve never had to deal with before. (Please, try not to let your imaginations run away with you. It’s not good, but what sin is?) Typically, I struggle with only my mind. This time, it’s a habit that I keep walking into. Knowing all sin starts in the mind, I’m battling with my thoughts yet again. It has been a few weeks of war and battles. Some days I win, some days I lose. Then Yahweh provided me with a very useful tool – an audio book from the library. Joyce Meyer talks about how to handle temptation. A lot of what I’ve heard so far isn’t really revolutionary, but to hear them put in this way, at this time, is huge. She’s talking about how we need to recognize where we are tempted. She mentions that we are tempted with impatience, with overeating, with being lazy, with sexual desires, and the list continues. She proposes that we pray before temptation and also pray that God reveals to us where we are deceived. We typically know when we’re going to walk into a tempting situation. We’re going to a large dinner and know we will be tempted to overeat, for example. One other thing that she talks about is the phrase “entering into temptation”. We are to pray that we enter not into temptation, not that we will never be tempted. Am I the only one who finds this revelation mind-blowing? Looking at it in this way seems to imply that unless we act on those temptations, we haven’t entered temptation. Whoa.

Work: I have been feeling lost. My jobs are incredible. I adore and treasure them. The truth is, there’s no real room for growth there. Plus, what about Jehovah wanting me in Michigan? Has that time past? I don’t believe so. I want to be so much more involved with the church. Yet, I don’t see how that’s possible. Even if I make it back to Michigan, I’ll have to work more to make ends meet. I have the time while I’m here and not there. What is it God is accomplishing? I can’t tell. I’m utterly lost and confused. I only want to know His truth.

Exercise: I have been doing Insanity for almost a month. Three times before, I have tried to finish the program. Each time, I’ve gotten the flu about a month or a month and a week into it. I’m getting paranoid about where I’m at, but I’m rejoicing in the strength I feel flowing through my veins. We are fearfully and wonderfully made.

Relationship: Struggles put strain on any relationship. Unfortunately, mine is no different. I have been striving so hard for growth that I don’t seem to know how to encourage another person in it. This life is hard. These struggles are real.

How are all of you doing?

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If it’s my last chance to say it —

You probably all heard about the bombing in Boston today. What a sad world we live in these days. Many will be praying for families and friends they know, as well as those they don’t. Many hearts are bleeding for them now. 
My day was rough anyway, but when I heard about that, I felt like that sealed the fate of my day. The good was fighting so hard to outweigh the bad. All of a sudden, I felt myself give way. 
May God’s strength and optimism course through me once again tomorrow. May God hug us all to Himself tonight. Love you, you brilliant ordinary people.